How much emotional attachment should there be between Master and slave?

Emotion is a fundamental thing to help generate submissive Power. A good Top can connect to it, and feed off it to amplify his partner’s energy, allowing them to share incredible excitement during a session.  My traditional 20 year marriage was secure in love, what it lacked is passion.  However,   my current relationship with "Daddy" Mark is based on a dynamic set of rules and emotional needs found only in the lifestyle.

In traditional mainstream society, the person you are intimate with should be the one who has your best interests at heart for building a stable family. In our 'community,' they need to have your best interests at heart so you can fly without fear of damage.   Daddy thinks this scenario stimulates feelings of love owing to the intense intimacy and trust necessary between couples. Therefore, it's not unusual for a submissive to become emotionally bonded with the Top, which is good in terms of generating a superior session for both. Play without passion is frustratingly incomplete.

In my own case, Daddy has always assured me I’m number one, and made clear from the beginning that he’s not out to hurt me emotionally. I believe him thanks to how I've blossomed in confidence under his guidance and his friendship. He's spent hours giving me advice to help me with issues beyond BDSM, which has improved aspects of my personal life both financially and emotionally. On the other hand he also clearly explained that he isn’t in love mode... he’s my Master.  Very difficult words to accept.

As a result of his admirable honesty there are times I fear he'll find another "Toy" who will be his true love, and I’ll be replaced. However I don't feel anyone can serve him as well as I do. I’ve seen relationships within the community that work well without romantic love so I think I may be fretting needlessly, but this concept takes a tremendous leap of faith since I’m not all that removed from ‘nilla.  So it follows that like most new submissives I searched for traditional romance in a D/s relationship... just as it's positioned all over the Internet.    Right or wrong, like it or not, that's how many of us are getting our 'feet wet' in the lifestyle.

So if this love won’t be returned the way I wish... is what I want: what I need?

That’s significant. Romantic love is what "I" would like, but thank God I’m not the one controlling events. With him orchestrating all our experiences, I have traveled farther, faster, and safer than I would have by jumping from partner to partner. And as a result of his being such a great conductor I'm free to be as perverted as I like without fear, which helps me feel secure and have no doubts as to my role with him.

We have wonderful sessions because he’s not swayed by feelings of romance so he has none of the usual relationship "issues" clouding his judgement.  If we were in love like I want, perhaps he’d be less willing to address my needs and too jealous to loan me to a Top with more bondage experience. Perhaps he’d also lighten up on me physically and I wouldn’t be expanding my limits as far as I already have. Conceivably we’d also spend less time in session, and more time doing traditional things like fighting... I wouldn’t like that at all.

My assumptions could be wrong but I doubt it, in view of a former playmate who fell in love with me. He lost all objectivity when he started having anxiety attacks caused by trying to be what he thought I wanted, and cast off the man on whose strength I could depend. In essence he became a bottom who needed constant direction. I even saw my own demeanor change shrewish towards him, which isn't conducive to anyone’s self esteem. How could I respect someone who’s not willing to confront the worst in me? How could either of us have relaxed enough to play under that scenario? Eventually we didn't play and the entire affair lost focus, therefore I assume that:  romantic love is not compulsory for a satisfying lifestyle relationship.

Nowadays I always smile when my friends chide me for staying with someone that will never love me, because romantic love should be the least of my concerns for future happiness. I know they're only worried about my self-image; I'm worried about having a partner that's self-assured and communicative. What I need is a Man who can handle all obligations in his own life with skill, including me. Because I have no inhibitions he can’t be afraid to say no for fear I’d leave, and he must be able to discuss issues objectively regardless of the topic because I want someone I can trust with more than just my heart.  I have to trust him with my life.

Some day I know I will have reciprocal love again, I know he will be in the ‘scene’ and he will be strong since I’m quite a handful.  Until then, I love you Daddy and thank you for training me.