There seems to be a lot of curiosity about a woman who feels so strongly about bondage. Strangers email me with many personal questions. In most countries, bondage-lovers feel shame and guilt due to their "pariah" status in mainstream culture -- so I hope that by revealing my own happy relationship with bondage, I can help fellow bondagers feel more positively about themselves.
*Truth or Dare*
(Actually, I always tell the truth as best I
can, so I haven't taken any dares yet!)
Questions & Answers
about
Bondage
& Lorelei
| Q: "Why aren't you called 'Kristine
Imboch' any more?" |
| When I started making bondage videos
ten years ago, bondage workers used actress-names or writer-names for their bondage
personas. This was because if they used their real name, someone in their regular
life might find out about their secret bondage work -- and they would be disgraced to
their family and friends! But I've been doing bondage for a long time now, and it's a different world than it used to be. I work with bondage people. I socialize at fetish clubs and BDSM parties. My entire family knows about my hobby... and they don't mind! So there's no reason for me to have a Scene name any more. Even if you knew me as "Kristine Imboch" for many years, I hope you can get accustomed to my real name, because I think it's a very nice name (my parents were quite proud of their selection!) -- and I'm much happier just being myself. By the way, I'm not the "Mistress Lorelei" who wrote those cool Scene books. She's an east coast gal, I'm on the west coast. |
| "What's your favorite role?" |
|
| I'm a "switch" -- a person who likes doing top
roles and bottom roles. If I could pick only one of the two, though, I'd pick being tied
up. I usually feel domme toward women I'm attracted to, and want to tie them up. I usually feel sub toward men I'm attracted to, although I'm not a "submissive" type sub. I like to be a fighter, a struggler; I like to role-play resistance and conflict scenes. |
|
| "If you're ever in my home town, would you stop by? I'll show you a good time." | |
| I am indeed polyamorous,
but I'm committed to my two partners. I'm serious about both relationships, and have been
with them for several years now. Some of you have asked why I write more about my times with Jon, and I don't volunteer much about Eric. Eric is a very private person, so my relationship with him is not displayed much on this site. |
|
"When you're in bondage, does it matter to you whether or not you're naked? Does the absence of clothing add to the experience by making it more humiliating or do you prefer to be dressed when in such a compromising position?" |
|
| As a role-player, I like to be partially dressed and have the
clothes torn -- for me, nakedness seems too consensual. Of course it can be a drain on the pocketbook to keep tearing up clothes. |
|
| "I wonder if going professional -- with a fetish that you love -- takes away from any of the enjoyment?" | |
| The first two years that I worked for Harmony, I did experience a burn-out. It's
especially hard not to think about work when you are playing, for example, if my partner's
tying me up and I'm thinking, hmm, the rope looks good when it's wrapped there, maybe I
should do that in the Thursday video on Ashley, let me think how that will work in the
script... and before you know it you're thinking too much... I've since learned to relax more and not do so much thinking when I'm tied up! |
|
"Do you always try the bondage positions that you use in your movies on yourself beforehand to test the time limits?" |
|
| Yes, I usually test things beforehand. | |
| "How long can you be tied without having the ropes start to bother you?" | |
| It depends on the position. Our favorite positions I can do for perhaps an hour. Special ones half an hour. Very strict ones, 10 to 15 minutes. | |
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| It's pretty much impossible; all I can do is mmph when I want the videographer to check the script. :) | |
| Some people dislike scarves because they think the knot is
too easy to reach. But if the scarf is applied carefully I think it can be made difficult
to find the knot :) We use scarves sometimes, but I like torn-up bedsheets much more. |
|
| "What's your favorite position to be tied in?" | |
| My current favorite position to be tied in is the frogtie --
hands behind, right ankle to right thigh, and left ankle to left thigh. This is a great
sexual-access position for me. When he's on top I like the sensation of being pinned down
with my hands and feet underneath my body. He can push my knees apart for more access.
It's a very helpless sensation. I don't think the frogtie is a good position for most people, though, because most people have bigger legs than I do, and their legs fall asleep when you tie them folded up like that. |
|
"What's your favorite position to observe?" |
|
| For videos and photos I have a fondness for looking at chair ties -- mostly because the lady is sitting straight up and I can see her eyes, her gag and her breasts. However, I'm also really into looking at sexual access positions. I especially like ones where the legs are together, bent at the hip; it seems to display the gal's rose quite nicely. | |
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|
| Since I like the sensation of struggling against my bondage, handcuffs don't do much for me during play. What I do LOVE to do with them is wear them for dinner. Los Angeles is a progressive city, and in some Chinese restaurants I can eat handcuffed. I first did this with Rick many years ago, and recently Jon and I have done this several times with no comment from the restaurant staff. You have to find a restaurant that's pretty much empty, though. | |
| "Have you ever used special props in your videos or in real life (i.e. chastity belts, butt plugs, harnesses or fetish items)?" | |
| I haven't used butt plugs in my videos. However, a play-pal of mine made me a chastity belt many years ago. I have a few photos of me wearing it, and those pics will turn up on this site eventually. I wore that chastity belt a few times with a dildo attached to it, with clothes over the belt, went in public, shopping and stuff. I don't own a leather harness. At the moment I can't afford to buy things like that. I designed a few leather-strap-and-buckle designs, and my father then made them for me, but the brads tended to pop if I pulled too hard on them. For those who are about to ask, yes, my father does know what I do for a living. I don't believe that we have to put our fetishes in our family's face, but in terms of this being my career and also a hobby, I do share that aspect with my parents. They've seen the magazines that I edit and some of the better videos I've directed. It's also true that my father built the suspension frame that appeared in several of the KISS videos. |
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|
| The standard size here (in the USA) I believe is 1 3/4". I can do the standard size, but that's unusual -- I'm a size small female with a size medium mouth. Most small ladies can't fit the standard female ballgag. | |
| "What size ballgags can models Whitney, Tory, Jennifer etc. take and for how long?" | |
| Each of them are able to wear a standard. I've never tried to stopwatch how long they wore a ballgag, since obviously during a video shoot we're trying to get lots of bondage done -- no time to sit about -- but a trouper model will wear a ballgag for about 40 minutes in order for the director to record a 10-minute video scene with angle changes, stopping to get photo-stills, etc. | |
| "What's your favorite gag?" | |
| I think my top favorite is to have my mouth packed first, with cotton-type cloth, lips then closed, and duct tape on top, at least three pieces of duct tape. I like the feeling of the tape stuck to my face. | |
| "What's the longest you've been tied up? With no way to escape?" | |
| I was tied very comfortably, in one position, for four hours.
Two barstools were placed together, and I was face down on them. My hips were bent so my
rear was accessible. My arms were tied straight down the sides of the barstools.
My partner of the time (Chaz) stimulated and played with me for the whole four
hours. It was a blast. But I wouldn't recommend being tied up that long to anybody. It was just a fluke that I was in such a comfortable position and Chaz was able to keep the endorphins going for so long. |
|
| "Which do you prefer being tied up with: duct tape or ropes?" | |
| I guess that depends on the moment, since those are two of my three favorite materials (torn cloth being the third). If I'm in clothes that can be destroyed, I really do love having a lot of duct tape on me. But if I'm naked obviously I'd rather be rope-bound :) | |
"How do you feel when tying up a man, compared to tying up a woman?" |
|
| For me, bondage emphasizes some kind of icon of femininity, so I prefer a man to have a sensual femaleness about him if I'm going to tie him up. Jace had it. With most men they have to be crossdressed before I get that same vibe from them. | |
| "A few years back I was thumbing through a friend's copy of Film Threat magazine and I saw you in the letters-to-the-editor section. You were tied to a chair and gagged with your top pulled down. If you still have a copy of it would you please post it on your website (please, please, please)." | |
| Wow, I'd forgotten about that photo! But I think I'll be able to find it. I'll see if I can dig that up for you... eventually... | |
| "Have you ever been locked and/or tied in a cage and, if so, how did you like that?" | |
| I like cages. Jon locked me in a standing cage at a club
party and teased me through the bars. I've been in a few other cages... I kind of like those big-pet carrying cages too. |
| "I know you often get aroused when bound. And that it often leads to sex. Do you have sex while tied up, or do the ropes come off first?" | |
| Back when I was first experimenting with bondage, it was a
little scary to do the sex with the bondage, so I was usually untied for the actual
intercourse part. But these days, I think if my partner tried to untie me before getting to the intercourse, I'd probably have a hissy fit. |
|
"Do you like to be tied up and tickled? If so, where are your most ticklish spots?" |
|
| I can take some tickling, but it can get torturous pretty
fast. :) Used in reasonable doses, it's a great way to augment the feeling of
vulnerability. I'm ticklish on my soles and underarms, and I sometimes respond to the knee-grab and waist tickling. When I was growing up, my sister and I used to have ticklefights, which were refereed by my brother. We did it like a ring fight on my parents' king-size bed. We'd start in opposite corners, my brother would yell "ding!" for the bell, and we'd come out tickling. I usually won because my sister was more ticklish and would collapse helplessly if I got a good spot. I remember one odd move we used was to grab the opponent's arm, bend it at the elbow, then nudge our chin in the crook of the elbow. For some reason that really tickled. |
|
| "You must have found many good friends in the Harmony scene. Do you try bondage with them in your real life?" | |
|
I worked at Harmony for about 7 years, and then worked with
Close-Up for 3 years. I met a lot of models, and played with a lot of women. Usually, I
meet a woman as a play-partner first and then ask her to model. It's less often that I
hire a model and then later wind up playing with her. You have to be very careful that you don't make a model feel like she HAS to play with you just to get future modeling jobs. |
"I came across a website by
[M]. |
|
| The full car-trunk photo set is in the Keyholder album. Regarding the railroad track pics, when that photo layout first came out, a lot of sites scanned and posted those photos illegally. The images are copyrighted by Close-Up Concepts and Harmony Concepts. (Any image that they own, I have to get permission to scan and post them on my site. I did finally get that image up.) |
|
| "How long does it take to get mummified?" | |
| It depends on the material. Plastic kitchen-wrap can be applied in just a few minutes. Duct-tape has to be applied more slowly and carefully, and can take a half hour sometimes... | |
"Your Bondage Detective magazines-- where can I find them or how can I subscribe to them?" |
|
| If you'll read the top of that page, you'll note that all
these Detective magazine covers I'm displaying are fake :) They're photos of me or by me, with fun blurbs written mostly by my boyfriend, and then the cover mock-up is designed by Richard Reynolds. Check out Teri Grey's attic for some scans of actual original detective mags. |
|
| "What has been the single worst working experience you have had as a model?" | |
| I've done very little modeling. Most of the time I'm
directing... and the times I did model, I often simply cast myself in a video I was
directing, because I wasn't able to get a model in time. My worst experience was a location shoot I did with my friend Dorothy. Dorothy was great. What was wrong with the vid was, I was in every scene of the video, so I had to direct, carry lights, move equipment, and film while wearing 5-inch heels the whole day. Can you imagine doing hard labor in stilettos? It was terrible. |
|
"Has there been a model who was the absolute worst #$#$# to work with?" |
|
| Yes! But I'm not going to tell you who it was. |
|
| "What size bra and panties do you wear?" | |
| Currently, 32C, and size 5 panties. If you want the whole shebang, here ya go: 32C-24-34 Amendment 2004: |
|
| "What is your favorite mainstream/vanilla motion picture depiction of bondage?" | |
| Unlike my partners and most other bondage-men I know, I'm not all that interested in media bondage. | |
| "Does U.S. Law prohibit groping in bondage pix? I know about the laws against penetration..." | |
| Groping without penetration is legally okay and is up to the
preferences of the producer, director, performers etc. I would probably show more groping pix on my site if I could... after all, I just love it when my boyfriend ties me up and gropes me. However, the logistics... he's usually the one who has to step back and take the photos! |
|
"What is it that makes bondage such an intimate part of your life?" |
|
| Well, there are a million answers, or none. I mean, everyone
has certain interests that are focal points of their lives, or central to their intimacy.
It's simply different for different people. I'm the sort of person for whom sex is very important, and bondage is very important. I know that for many other people, these things are not important to their happiness. |
|
| "Your early writings delve into self-bondage. Do you still indulge that facet of your passion, or has the ready availability of male bondage masters dulled it?" | |
| I regularly tie myself up in video appearances, but the last
time I tied myself up personally, I was doing it so that my partner could come in and
discover me tied up. My personal scene has nothing to do with masters, not even in role-playing. |
|
| "Have you ever won an AVN Award or something else, too?" | |
| The instructional vids I did for Close-Up ("How to Make Your Lover Helpless" & "Techniques of Discipline") got a nomination for Best Specialty Video '97. I haven't received any awards. | |
"Recall if you can, a gag I've seen you use in several Harmony films. I can describe it as a black latex-covered ballgag with a black surgical tube band instead of traditional leather straps. I've seen Kiri Kelly wear it." |
|
| I know what gag you're speaking of. I don't know where that gag came from. The reason it's been around so long is it's rubber and cleans well, unlike other gags that have been discarded over the years. My best guess would be it was bought at the Pleasure Chest 20 years ago -- but who knows where you could get one now? | |
| "Where is the best place you've ever been tied up?" | |
| Jon's bed. Actually, I know what you mean by the question. You're talking about the exotic aspect. Being tied to trees, or being tied in car trunks -- those are my favorite locations in terms of a feeling of special-ness and excitement. |
|
| "Have you ever been bound to another submissive?" | |
| I've been tied to models Whitney Prescott,
Cleo Nichole, and Eve Ellis -- plus my friends Shawna,
Bobbie Tawse, Kiri Kelly, Dorothy
Laine, Ashley Renee, and
Boat-Oar Betty.
I like that sensation of being pressed up against a very soft and cuddly co-captive. |
|
| "Have you ever shaved your crotch?" | |
| I shaved myself several times when I was in college, as a
lark. Pros: I liked the smoothness, I liked doing something different. Cons: A main purpose of pubic hair is to contain moisture in the area so that sex-juices don't deplete during intercourse. I really hate the dry-humping effect that arises due to shaved crotch. Other cons: My clit's rather big and it looks very lonely with no hair around. When the hair grows back in, it ITCHES LIKE MAD and makes daily life, not to mention sexual activities, no fun at all. So I doubt I'll ever shave again. I do trim my fur frequently, so it won't be in the way during cunnilingus. Also, I do love to bleach or lighten my pubic hair -- to give myself a blonde bush. |
|
| "Do you go in for B&D in the sense of being whipped, rough use of penetrating toys, heat, ice, etc.? If so, how does the bondage interact with these? (A favorite position to be whipped in, etc.)" | |
| I do like rough use of penetrating toys, and for that we use
a dildo or a knife-handle covered with a condom. That sort of play works well with a
frog-tie. I'm not much for surface sensation, so I'm not into heat or ice. I prefer stimulation that addresses deeper tissue, such as firm bondage pressure, and thudding sensations. I like being flogged or spanked, but it's because I like those thudding physical sensations -- the acts themselves don't seem particularly "sexy" or "exciting" to me. The thud doesn't feel good if it swipes down on the buttcheeks, so standing for a flogging doesn't work -- for buttwork I need to be face down, preferably with my legs bent at the hips. I haven't explored bondage positions with this much because neither of my partners are much into applying discipline. I suppose the best position for spanking/flogging would be a supported strappado, because it would feel so vulnerable. |
|
| Sorry to disappoint you; for myself I don't
find anal activity erotic. I own several anal plugs, but I only use them vaginally -- I like that "bell" shape for vaginal stimulation! |
|
| "I just found your site by accident, and I've been surfing it now for two hours. I don't understand; why do you like this 'bondage' stuff? I think it's weird. Email me back." | |
| How did you find my website? LOL
|
|
| "You and I have a lot in common. Will you be my email penpal?" | |
| I'm glad to hear that we have
a lot in common. As a group, most bondage lovers have a lot in common with each other. I'm afraid I don't have the time to be penpals with each individual surfer, but you can look for other like-minded folk in the Personals links. |
|
| Typical
email questions: "Do you like this pic
of..." |
|
| Yes, no, and yes... but please only send pics that download at less than 25K. | |
| "Do you consider yourself to be a masochist? I.e., a lady who actively enjoys the discomfort of strict bondage, muscle cramps, numbed extremities, being whipped, nipple-clamped, etc." | |
| I know quite a few masochists and I don't think I qualify.
I'm not into muscle cramps or numbness. I do like a degree of discomfort sometimes because
it emphasizes my emotional feelings of helplessness... but discomfort for its own sake is
usually wasted on me. Nipple clamps are nice when they're pressing or holding behind the nipple, but I dislike clamps when they're used for a pinching or clamping sensation. |
|
| "Is it a sexual turn-on for you to be bound up in such a strict hogtie as is depicted in your video Busted"? | |
| It was exciting for the first minute or so. After that, my prevailing emotion was determination -- needing to make it through the discomfort in order to finish the video with a good scene! | |
| "Have you tried that hogtie with vibratory stimulation?" | |
| Yes, and that makes the position a bit easier to endure. On a basic level, vibrators provide a nice feeling that distracts from discomfort; on a more intensive level, vibrators stimulate the production of endorphins, which bolster pleasure sensations. | |
| "Have you ever performed oral sex on your lover with your hands tied or cuffed behind your back?" | |
| Tied, yes. Handcuffed no. I suppose handcuffs would
work if I were kneeling, and able to keep the metal away from surfaces that would apply
excessive pressure to my wrists, but... the old "kneeling blowjob" position
turns me off -- it reminds me of cheap porn movies. I prefer to be lying down during tied fellatio. |
|
| "Will you do a custom project for me?" | |
| I'm not producing custom projects any more, but my boyfriend Jon sometimes does. You can inquire to him at American Damsels.com. | |
| "Why are we like this? Why does this sort of thing attract us? Where does it come from?" | |
| When I edited Harmony's Bondage Life 50 magazine, I wrote an article about the possible roots of fetishism. At the time, I was a hard-line behaviorist, believing that an imprinting experience initiates a fetish, but I don't believe that as much now. I feel that our emotional and physical make-up gives us a "lean" toward certain preferences, and any experience that taps into those preferences can then shape the specifics. For example, one bondager loved red rubber balls in the mouth. I don't think he was born with that fetish, but the concept of gags and helplessness meant something to him as a child, so when he saw someone with a red ball in their mouth, it set off rockets for him, and made a special imprint. For more digging into needs and desires, you can read the original article -- or just ask around and see what others online think. | |
| "I was just thinking as I surfed the various B&D websites: As interesting and creative as all of you are, do you ever wonder if you're spending TOO much energy on all this? I mean, I enjoy the sight of a B&G'd girl as much as anyone. But just every now and again, I wonder, what with all the world's problems, could we be spending more of our time and talent doing something more constructive, particularly with this incredible tool which is the Internet?" | |
| That's a good question. I guess I'll answer it in two parts.
|
| First of all, most people do have a hobby of some type that they invest a
lot of time, energy and thought in. These hobbies are usually things like reading, stamp
collecting, watching a certain sports team, singing in a church choir, or going bowling
with buddies. Our society nods approvingly and unquestioningly at someone who spends 10 hours a week watching football. However, if you spend 10 hours a week watching sex videos or surfing sexy websites, that's considered a "wrong" way to relax... a questionable recreation... the wrong hobby. What's the diff? I think sex is more relaxing than a lot of other hobbies, and that's supposed to be the main reason for a hobby -- it makes you happy. So, bondage is my hobby, and it makes me happy, like a hobby should. Part two of the answer is a much more serious consideration. Why are all the people in the world indulging in hobbies to make themselves happy -- when we should all spend our free time being politically or communially involved in repairing the world? Feeding the hungry? Stopping wars? Educating the masses? In high school and college, I joined several rights groups that were trying to make changes. After several weeks of activity and discussion I invariably became depressed by the constant awareness of the volume of injustice and the seeming impossibility of change. I would become so depressed I would stop functioning. And then I became useless to the cause. So all I can say for myself is, I'm a weakling. If I watch too much of the nightly news, I get depressed. (If I see some mother crying because her child was killed, I start crying with her.) So instead, I keep track of world events by reading internet articles, reviewing the paper and listening to radio reports -- the heavy reality of TV images is just too much for me. So I guess all I can do is involve myself in a less daunting goal -- trying to make fetishists happier about themselves and less judgmental about themselves -- and hope that my karma is having some small dent on the greater evils of the world :)
|
I have long answers to these two questions:
"Do you really like this, or is it just an act?"