Lorelei's Diary

I arrived at the office Friday night at 11:30. Eric came out and I was quite nervous. He said "How about a hug" and we did so briefly. I like how it feels and I didn't need reminding. I followed his car to his place and we locked up my car.

It was disappointing to walk into his apartment after all my memories of the other apartment. But there was the same couch with its same frustrations.

He asked if I wanted to sleep on the pullout sofa. I looked at the second bedroom and decided it would be better to have privacy, even if I'd be sleeping on the floor, so I put my stuff in there. We talked a bit and I retreated into the bedroom.

I couldn't sleep. There was a box of stuff in my room by the door and some were comic books. I looked through a lot of the books. I still felt emotionally wired up and couldn't sleep. I used my vibrator (successfully silent) but still couldn't sleep after that. Finally I hogtied myself with his ropes -- his rope bag was right there -- I picked out the really old, gray ones (knowing well how many times Debra Lee must've worn them).

After some struggle I finally got weary. I untied myself and got to sleep sometime after 3 a.m.

Last night going into a restaurant we parked in back and we both observed a little rear tree-cubby framed by a cement wall. We remarked that it was a good bondage-scenario locale.

After dinner, on the way out, it was dark and Eric said "Now I suppose I should kidnap you into this little area" and he grabbed me and pulled me into the cubby. I was deadweight in fear of arousal and he let me go (thankfully or unfortunately or whatever).

Last night I told him about the trip and Chaz wanting to marry me and Eric told me that a few weeks ago during a non-bondage barefoot shoot he proposed to Debra Lee.

She turned him down "nicely."

Eric lifted weights tonight -- Oh Joy! I got to watch. He ran through the Krystal tape and then put mine in while he lifted. I talked about the midwest shoots and he asked questions about them. Things timed perfectly so when my "self-tie for Eric" segment came up, it was time for me to shower for dinner. I would've been too embarrassed to stay in the room... that sequence is so patently for Eric.

I think Tarsis knows. Or maybe he thinks I hate Eric. The way I glare. Hm.

Yesterday I looked at La Bionda by Saudelli. Eric brought it out for me. I got so frustrated that afterward I went to my room and masturbated. I suppose he knew but I didn't care. I was dying. I even fucked the vibrator (a rarity) but it didn't really help. I just wanted him pushing into me.

My last few orgasms haven't been silent. I've got to control the noise.

We just retired not long ago. I went to my room, put on the gray t-shirt, gagged and hogtied myself (I have my cotton rope now) and rolled around the floor listening to The Phantom of the Opera. I also played with Blacky and hummed to the music some.

After the song I untied myself and used my toy.

I've been successful the last few days in using Shannon as my orgasm fantasy. It's hard to avoid the Eric scenarios that hound me through the day, but at least for orgasms I'm making an effort to exclude thoughts of him.

I've been using the Shannon/house/by-the-kitchen-door suspension fantasy. Funny how that situation always excites me so much.

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