Lorelei's Diary

May 18

When I was in elementary school we sometimes played horses with the boys. The girls were wild horses and the boys would spend recess trying to capture us as we galloped around. When caught, a horse would be put in a corral, which was three trees in a triangle, connected by a jump-rope. I recall I was captured once and put in that corral. I felt disappointed because it seemed that now that he'd captured me, something else should happen. I think they did use a jump-rope as the leash when we were led into our corral.

The McCs’ garage had an upstairs which was set up for the kids to play in. It was a wonderful hideaway and had tons of comic books. We were welcome to climb up there and sit around reading. This is my only access to comics that I remember; only a few comics were ever in our house -- I don't think my parents liked to buy them for us? (I did own the Shanna the She-Devil comic.)

The majority of the McCs' comics were Archie comics, Little Lulu, and a mass of romantic comics which I assume were the McC girl's. I believe I read every last comic, and there must have been more than fifty. I don't know why, but I remember things from these comics clearly, I suppose they imprinted me very strongly. For one thing, I completely related to Betty in the Archie comics. Betty seemed attractive but no one else appeared to notice! Archie thought only of Veronica. There was one story where for some reason Archie actually liked Betty temporarily; I think it turned out to be a dream. There was also a segment which showed Archie grabbing Veronica without warning and kissing her on the mouth! -- with her eyes wide in surprise -- this wasn’t part of a story but was likewise a dream or fantasy [that was presented in one issue].

For a long time my developing sexual fantasies consisted only of this forceful kiss, taken in a moment of passion without permission. I played the image in my mind repeatedly.

The romantic stories! -- so pathologically consuming! These women were amazing. They generally were involved in some wonderful project -- I remember a candy-striper in a hospital story. They’d be spurned by a man they adored -- or some other girl would steal the man away. Lots of frames had a broken girl crying her heart out, with the cliché balloon "How can I live without him!" In the end she always found love, though, either that man or a new character arriving during the last page to see her real beauty. The message was very strong that the only happiness was being loved by these men. I did believe that message.

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