December 26

Gollee, I haven't written in here for two weeks! It's too bad I've gotten behind, because lots has happened. I'll try to recount it but my descriptions will lack the detailed quality that I like to maintain... it's hard to remember everything.

I haven't had the chance to use the PVC tape on Jace yet. I'm still intending to use it for a shower layout. I think I'll retire some of my old L'Eggs Sheer Energy hose for that project.

I recently found another coil of thin nylon rope in the workroom. Chaz will be happy to see that, I'm sure, because he complains when he doesn't have enough rope to work with. He does have the patience and motivation to wrap my limbs sometimes ten times 'round, or more occasionally; he likes it to "look pretty" and I like the distribution of tension you get when it's wrapped many times. I mean distribution of pressure. Distribution of tension is up to the inner workings of my mind. Ya know.

During the vacation I let Chaz read some of my journals. I didn't go over (in my mind) what he might read or anything, what he might think. Later he said, "I don't understand this fantasy-rape stuff. You never brought it up to me, but you wrote about it in the journal. When you watch TV or a movie, I know you hate watching rape scenes and usually turn the channel. How come you have fantasies then?"

I was actually somewhat glad he'd read that and asked about it. I tried to explain how in fantasy-rape a woman has complete control over what the Bad Guy does, and she can imagine him doing all the things that she would enjoy -- if she chose them -- and that in true rape there is absolutely no control, so it's an opposite situation. (Yeah, well, I said I tried to explain. It's hard to explain!) Chaz seemed to understand the difference, though, and he didn't act like there was anything sick about it. I feel better about it. ...In fact, a few weeks ago when we were first tying, Chaz mentioned in conversation that he'd wanted to fuck me while I was tied, but had refrained because he was afraid I would associate it with a rape situation. I told him it wouldn't upset me to have sex while tied. It's interesting because I remember some times when I was tied up all cozy absolutely praying that he would penetrate me and he didn't; I was slightly disappointed and wondered why he didn't.

Of course we're past that now. He's discarded that inhibition (o' happy day!).

Nw that I've covered little snatches of stuff, let me get down to the task of recalling my vacation week, which was absolutely mah-velous.

On Monday the l4th I went down and visited Dad's fiancee for two days. We talked a bit about bondage Monday night, lying in bed. She was interested in getting handcuffs and I told her the advantages and disadvantages of cuffs. She said my dad doesn't like the idea anyway (she wants to cuff him).

On Tuesday night, very late, I got back in town and went right to Chaz's. The next day he went to work and I got to sleep in. I lolled about in bed all day. It was sooo relaxing. In the afternoon I decided to make myself a package for Chaz. I cuffed my wrists together and my ankles together. With the all-cotton ropes, I made a basic frame to connect everything. The rope was knotted to the ankle chain, then run through the wrist chain and down as a crotch-rope. This way, if I tried to stretch out my legs a little, it would increase the pull of the crotch rope. I rolled around in this for a little while, then used my vibrator to come. (I think I had my black dildo inserted by that time.) I lay on my side and watched TV, leaving the dildo in place.

diary doodle of position:

When Chaz came home I was partway under the blanket, so he saw the cuffs but not the dildo setup. He laughed and came over and lay down with me. We started to play a bit and finally his fingers crept down to my cunt. When he found the dildo there he laughed.

I magnanimously removed it while he put on a condom. We started sex, but it was cumbersome so I untied all the ropes, leaving just the cuffs. He fucked me for a while with my legs up and I suggested he crawl under my ankle-cuffs instead. I had my hands against my chest, and the cold metal bugged him when it pressed on his chest; "basic'ly speakin', ma'am" the cuffs just plain did not work out. I liked them but as Chaz observed, they aren't very comfortable. We decided a definite preference for the ropes.

Also, ropes cover more skin and provide more stimulation. And when combined with a vibrator, them ropes can't be beat!

The cuffs thing did bring up the matter of making leather-cuffs, which Chaz and I've been kicking around for a while. We planned to go to Tandy during Christmas shopping and see what could be put together. He is eager to try an extended-bondage session and I am eager to be his assistant. Tee hee. Lest it look like we only have bondage sex any more, sometime that week I did have regular sex with him. I just don't remember it. See? No, I mean that I don't remember when it was. Or much about it. In general. This strikes me as quite amusing. But I do enjoy regular sex. I wouldn't want to only have bondage sex and no regular; I would miss regular.

On Thursday we visited the Tandy leather outlet, and it was a disappointment. It seemed like they just didn't have the pieces we'd need to make decent, basic leather cuffs. Also, I had trouble explaining to Chaz how I wanted the cuffs to lock. I wanted there to be only one lock, which would serve as both the securing element and the fitting element. In many cuff sets, there is a buckle to fit it to the wrist, then a lock to set the buckle. But that leaves so much extra hardware on your body! I wanted to pare it down. Anyway, the parts selection left much to be desired.

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