November 12

On November 1, Chaz and I started out for Florida. We drove all day and got a hotel for the night. I can't express how nice it is to be held by someone again. And of course, the familiarity of Chaz gives a secure feeling. But enough gushing.

On the way, while I drove, he read excerpts from Bondage Life letters and we talked about them. He expressed interest in the details of how bondage affects "Us" (Us Bondage People). The second day on the road, he leaned over and pulled the seatbelt taut against me and played with my body with his other hand. I did get a good rise with the strap stapling me to the seat like that. I could barely drive sometimes.

When we arrived in Florida, Terrie had us stay at D&D's in their sun-room. We pretty much had our own bedroom. We were able to continue our pattern of having sex each nig                                   ht.

On Tuesday evening Chaz and I toured the red-light strip (Orange Blossom Trail) and checked out one of the stores. When we walked in there was a blow-up doll strung from the ceiling by a body-harness. They'd put a leather hood on her and she sported thigh-wrist cuffs made from leather straps. I was enthralled and I said to the clerk, "That's very artistic." Chaz also liked it and asked about the cost. They dickered and dealt but it never got down to a price that Chaz liked. He seems to be interested in buying some easy-on easy-off bondage goods, preferably leather. If he gets anything, I wonder if our relationship will take a weird turn?

We went to Terrie's and had dinner with her and her new girlfriend, Dee. After the dinner, Terrie announced that she felt like a bondage photo session. So I went out to my car and brought in all the junk.

Dee and Terrie donned lingerie. They were having great fun and Chaz was too -- they were dressing in front of him and he was enjoying his buzz and the show and the lesbian ambiance. (He likes lesbian sexuality; he finds it erotic.)

I took some pics of Terrie and Dee sitting together and then I tied Terrie to the rocking chair with a bunch of bras. I wasn't too pleased with the visual result but I had fun. Then Terrie got drowsy so she went in the bedroom and lay down. Dee danced about the room for a while and then volunteered for her turn. I decided since she didn't know me very well, it would be best to use scarves. They're soft and have a calming effect.

(Note: I can't show these photos on this website, due to privacy needs of the participants.)

I asked her to dress in my white see-through dress and then lie down. I tied her with scarves, starting from the ankles and working up. I also used a teeny-weeny silky scarf to tie her toes together. She liked that.

When I had about seven scarves on her she looked very peaceful. I mentioned to her that some people enjoy bondage because they feel secure and childlike -- kind of protected. She agreed that she felt that way. I tied some more scarves around her chest and finished taking pictures. Terrie came back in, rejuvenated. A song came on that Dee wanted to dance to so we all untied her very fast.

That night Chaz and I had good sex... and just after we finished, Terrie showed up at the door. She was very awake and Dee had gone to bed for the evening. Terrie complained that Dee had been in strange moods recently and tonight she was weirded out about some life problems, and also bondage had given her some mixed feelings. I felt bad and asked if I shouldn't have tied her. Terrie said "Well, she wanted you to. She should know what she can deal with. But she hasn't been tied up before and she isn't as worldly as she acts. Actually she's had a very conventional upbringing. At first she liked the bondage, but I guess that many scarves bothered her; also she was dismayed by the male-oriented concepts which seem to be linked with bondage." I recalled I'd stated imaginary settings for Dee to make expressions -- one being an unconscious damsel tied by criminals.

I was sorry she'd had a mixed reaction, but Terrie advised me to let it be Dee's concern, that she had opted herself to do it.

I'll try to remember from now on that a first time should be very understated. Scarves made positive feelings for Dee, and they're ideal, but I should've used fewer. Also I'll refrain from projecting fantasy into the situation, and let them have their own thoughts, about whatever they want. Shame on me.

On Thursday night, Chaz and I went out to Orange Blossom Trail again and stopped at several porn bookstores. They should've been called poor bookstores. All the materials were old and there were no fetish sections to speak of. I did find a dildo with belt for just $6. I was getting a bit tired of only having my black one with the snaps. This one is flesh-colored, and it's a bit shorter but wider.

Chaz wanted to talk me into going to see a private show -- where a woman would undress for us or touch us or whatever they do. But I was reticent. Finally we went to a go-go girl place. It was a little bar with women in g-strings and pasties. I loved it. They were all so pretty and for $5 they would dance a few songs at your table. Chaz picked out a few and had them dance for me! It was strange and interesting. I was excited. Some of the dancers seemed uncomfortable, but most smiled at me and laughed sometimes. A black woman with a bodybuilder's frame danced for me two extra songs. Chaz asked her to do muscle-poses for me and she liked that.

At the end of the evening Chaz and I went to bed around 4 a.m. and had sex twice. The first time I simply slipped off into my mind as we fucked and I flashed continual images in my head of myself in all kinds of bondage positions, picture after picture as if I were flipping magazine pages. The climate for the week had me in a very uninhibited mood. As we squirmed together I realized that I was approaching orgasm! I continued to run the pictures in my mind and I knew I could get there. Chaz was also tensing up to come. Suddenly he withdrew and I shouted "No, come back!" as he came on my stomach.

He said "I couldn't risk it" and I realized with dismay that he didn't know I had my contraceptive sponge inside. So once again a lack of communication took my chance from me.

A bit later we started again but he came before I did. I was close again. He did cunnilingus to finish me. But I was happy anyway because I'd discovered the key. It was just like Donna said to me my freshman year at Western. "Oh, Lorelei, fantasy is the key!" And it really does make the feelings start in my vulva. All I have to do is imagine my pictures over and over, and I start to climb, and I can move against his cock to make it approach.

The odd thing was that we had sex several more times during my vacation, but every time, he came before I could get there. Each time I was approaching the plateau. He keeps getting there about three minutes early. We tried using condoms to reduce his sensation but it didn't help.

On Friday afternoon, Terrie came over and had me take a lot of pictures of her. Some were portraits, but she also wanted to do bondage pictures. Chaz again sat around and was happy to spectate. I'm glad that Terrie and Chaz like each other.

I chained Terrie up in an attractive fashion, very dyke-ish, which she enjoyed. I cuffed her hands together and ran a chain from them down between her legs and up the back, so her hands were down tight against her jeans. She found that she could stimulate her cunt by pulling on her cuffs. She laughed and liked that. She even let me do a style where I put the 4-inch rings on her breasts to make a chain-style bra. She looked magnificent.

At one point I had her done up pretty good, lying on the sofa, and I told her to sit up. She couldn't sit up. She giggled and squirmed; she really liked the game, so I kept saying "Hup two, what's your problem? Sit up!" She had a grand time.

I took the chain pictures in black and white, and I haven't seen them yet, because black and white takes a long time to develop. I can't wait!

Early on Saturday Chaz and I started for home.

On the 9th Chaz and I went out to dinner and stopped by Velvet. We also went to the store across the street. I noticed that Velvet only carries Lyndon, no HOM mags. I asked the clerk to order more HOM. Across the street there was an even smattering. For the second time, I saw the mag which appealed to me because it had a layout with a man handling a woman in bondage.

(Note: this refers to an HOM/Barbara Behr mag featuring Rachel Wells.)

This time I went with my feelings and I bought it. I was not disappointed! They never show him really doing anything except holding her, but the effect was a real turn-on for me. It's so rare -- in fact impossible -- to find bondage magazines where there's a man in the picture!

Not counting "Roy" who sends in contributions to Bondage Life. But his wife is always in horse-riding outfits.

That night I looked at my man-with-woman bondage magazine and Chaz flipped through my ample collection of regular adult books. Then as he looked at them I lay up against him and fantasized my pictures. We had sex and again I got some good feelings going. But as I said, even with the condom he didn't manage to last quite long enough. Well, I'm shooting for next time.

("February 21, 1989: It seems that the majority of partners become especially excited whenever I do, and they consequently approach orgasm more rapidly than I can.")

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