October 24

I talked for a while with Jeffrey's roommate Elsie. She asked me questions about my bondage interest. I found that I didn't know some of the answers about my own feelings. It was fun to talk about it with someone.

After I talked with Elsie about bondage for a while, I felt like doing some. I looked in the basement for rope. It was right there in a box alongside the stairway. I took it upstairs and carried it around. I didn't want to tie Jace because I suspected he would feel uncomfortable in front of the others. I knew Jeffrey would like it. He enjoys being submissive and be loves to be the center of attention.

I had Jeffrey lie on the floor on his stomach while Jace watched. I tied Jeffrey's ankles and wrists. Then I put a bean-bag chair on his back. I tied it to him around his waist. I tied the ankle and wrist ropes to the center of the bean bag. Then I rolled him and the bag over. He lay that way for a while, and his friends came in to look.

One time after I'd tied Jace in a legsleeve, I said "if you'd like, now you could tie me."

He said "I hadn't thought about it. I'll have to get some ideas."

I was disappointed because it was the first time I felt comfortable enough to suggest me being tied -- and I got turned down.

Aww. Poor baby.

November 10

On Thursday night I asked Chaz to come over. I wanted to talk with him about the Florida trip -- explain my reservations. He was amazingly understanding and took me in his arms and held me while I talked, then went right ahead and started treating me sexually.

I've talked a lot with him recently about my bondage interest and he's a good one to bounce my feelings off of. A while back I was trying to explain my fetish to him on a lunch date and it was difficult to explain why I'd had bondage experiences which didn't quite ring true for me. I'm guessing, but I think that part of my fascination requires that an enamored man be observing me or touching me while I'm in bondage. Having just any guy doing it isn't the same as having a true bondage fetishist seeing me in that state.

Chaz picked that up quickly and said that what I need is a man who shares my interest to the same degree.

Exactly!

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